New blog

Please join me at my




It’s still undergoing revision, but all my old posts and archives have been transferred over, so this blog will stay up only for a little longer until I am able to shuttle everyone over to my new site.


In union with Mary,


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Posted by on June 29, 2015 in Uncategorized


Blog transfer

Dear readers,

Anyone else who uses WordPress will know that since Friday, there has been a rainbow banner imposed on the top of our admin pages.  I’ve greatly enjoyed using WordPress for the last four, almost five years, but I am very irritated at this blatant intolerance of my own religious and moral beliefs.  It’s one thing if they put it on their own home page, but to force it on every blog owner’s admin page is unprofessional and unnecessary.

That being the case, this blog is on standby until I figure out how to transfer it over to another blog platform. My final post will be a link over to my new blog site.  I’ll let you know soon!


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Posted by on June 28, 2015 in Uncategorized


I’m being driven back to God by boredom.  

Life is an Impressionist painting viewed too closely.  I’m sure there’s a picture here somewhere, but right now, it’s all blurry patches of color that don’t match.  Post-graduation life is not the neatly organized world I’d planned to construct for myself.  It’s a messy, disordered, uncontrolled flop so far.  Most of that is my fault – I’ve been distracted and unmotivated.

Now, I’m wrapped in a nice little downward spiral of disappointment in myself, living vicariously through books, and experiencing very brief spurts of “I have to get at least ONE THING done!”

The center of the spiral is the fact that my spiritual life has gone to pot since I left college.  This is precisely what I predicted would happen, an outcome which I didn’t have enough self-control to ward off.

After a half hour in the adoration chapel tonight, I was graced with a brief consolation.  I’d been afraid to turn back to Christ, thinking how I would feel if someone I loved ignored me for weeks and didn’t even have a good reason.  Like any other human, I think, I might welcome the return of the one I loved, but there would be a stiffness, a hurt, a feeling of rejection and disappointment.  Intellectually, of course, I know that’s not the way Christ works.  Yet there was an emotional block that held me back from talking to Him directly again.

Thanks be to God, I gave in to His gentle urging.  I imagined myself walking shamefacedly up to the house in Nazareth, realizing that the only one I’ve really talked to in the last few weeks has been St. Joseph, and that more nagging than anything else.  Our Lady opened the door with a smile and a hug, and there was my Jesus.  No trace of disappointment on His face, only a smile and an embrace of joyous love at this little prodigal sister’s timid knock.

I’m struggling to keep up any daily prayer regimen when I don’t have a structure of work or school forming the backbone of my day.  But I’m going to keep trying, and I know He’s there, loving me even when I turn my back and plunge into my childish spiral.

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Posted by on June 25, 2015 in Uncategorized


#WhyRemainCatholic: Conscious and Confident

I’ve got no great conversion story to narrate; I probably can’t even describe a time I really struggled with the idea of keeping my Faith.  What I can say is that I am consciously, confidently Catholic.

My parents are both converts.  It’s a great blessing, really, because they were discovering things about the Faith even as they were teaching me and my siblings.  They have always been devoted, pious, and committed to the Church they chose as adults.  We grew up well-catechized and well-formed, though always with the knowledge that we were different.  The world wasn’t somewhere we fit in.

I’ve never taken my religious and moral beliefs for granted – 4-H State Band weekends and band practice kept me grounded.  There were plenty of people around me who just didn’t care.  That being the case, I came very close to boxing up my faith and putting it on the Sunday-and-Holy-Day shelf.

For four years, I was dead set on going to music school; I planned to major in Arts Administration and minor in Trombone Performance.  I was going to be a professional musician and make a living with my musical talent.  Don’t get me wrong – I could have done it; I was good enough.  That career track meant going to a secular university and basically not having time for God – although that didn’t occur to me at the time.  Yes, I’d keep my faith (I couldn’t imagine life any other way) but that just meant Sunday Mass and helping with parish events.

What I didn’t realize at the time was my unutterable pride.  I thought that my gift for music would take me wherever I wanted to go.  I thought that I didn’t need to improve as a Catholic.  I had it all figured out, right?  Well, until I visited Christendom College.

After a few days of daily Mass, adoration, classes beginning and ending with a prayer, and the Catholic atmosphere that pervaded the entire school, I was hooked.  I realized, deep inside, that I couldn’t leave that lifestyle behind.  With the full knowledge that the decision meant abandoning my music and all the work I’d put into it, I chose the little liberal arts Catholic college over a music career.

What I didn’t realize then, and I do now, was the fact that this decision was more than just an education choice.  It was more even than a career choice.  It was an overt, adult decision to set my Faith as a priority in my life.

Four years later, I’ve repeatedly reinforced that decision with a conscious commitment to Catholicism.  I’m convinced that it’s deeply important for every Catholic-raised young person to, at some point, choose their Faith.  Childhood loves and joys don’t solve adult sufferings, and at some point, the challenges come.

Why do I stay?  Why did I choose Catholicism for my life?  What do I tell people when they ask me why I’m Catholic?

There’s more, when you’re Catholic.  More to life, more to death.  The world isn’t just a 2-dimensional, grey-shaded, boring yet scary rollercoaster ride.  Look through the Eucharist, look beyond – it’s not even black and white, this world of ours!  It’s glorious, 4-D, high definition, technicolor action.  There’s meaning to every moment, truth in every word, beauty beyond the deepest, call of the loneliest mind.  There’s order in all the chaos and a Good beyond all goods of earth to struggle towards and win.  There’s solace in the most terrible of torments, and a Love to sooth the most restless heart.

That, dear world, is why I’m Catholic.  I have the Key to goodness, truth and beauty, and He loves me.

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Posted by on June 10, 2015 in Uncategorized


Class of 2015

It seems like forever and yesterday that I started as a bright-eyed, naive little freshman at Christendom College.  After four years and a Bachelor of Arts in English Language and Literature, the world seems just about as scary as it did then, but I’m so much better prepared to deal with it.  I could go back and give a post-mortem of all the things I wish I’d done better, but likewise I can give you an even longer list of why I’m glad I went.  I even managed to graduate summa cum laude, thanks be to God!  My thesis was successfully concluded, I’ve made a myriad of “life-giving friends” (thanks, Dr. O’Donnell, for that perfect phrase!), I’ve grown spiritually, emotionally, and mentally, I’ve learned my strengths and my weaknesses, and I’ve received an amazingly intense and grace-filled education.

Many thanks are due to my parents.  They are responsible for getting me to Christendom in the first place (that’s a story in itself) and have sacrificed time and money to make sure I could stay there.  I only hope I can return their investment in more ways than one.

I’m still in shock at the thought that these four years of fun, stress, tests, papers, Walmart runs, late-night conversations, lunches with professors, back-stage sewing, Disney Princess coloring pages, girls’ night teas, movies, roommate time, daily Mass in the chapel, Commons food, walks in the wood, running barefoot in the rain, dances, Rome, blasting Irish and Disney while cleaning, freshman drama, flamingo fun, classes, and so much else, are over.  It took a great deal of effort to realize that my years at college are not meant to be an end in themselves, but are the means to a greater end: my salvation.  And what path I am meant to take from here to eternity, God alone knows.

Lord, give me courage, patience and trust that You will show me Your will for my life!  Thank you so very much for the blessings and love You have shown me over the past four years, and for the gift of my Christendom education.


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Posted by on May 20, 2015 in College, graduation